Journal 5: Philosophy

You Only Live Once (YOLO!)
Sounds like a cliche title for my philosophy, but it does accurately describe my view on life.

1. Life's too short for secrets. If you think about it, the average lifespan is something around 70 to 80 years. That's pretty short, in perspective. The Earth is a few billion years old, and it's still young. We live such short lives, so why waste it hiding something from everyone around you? You'll feel freer when you aren't hiding yourself. *I learned this in the last few years. I used to think I had to hide certain things from my parents or my friends; now, I have very few secrets from anyone. And I feel very confident in myself, not to mention accepted by those who love me for everything about me, secrets and all.
2. Life's too long for regrets. If you're spending that 70 or 80 years of your life regretting your past, you're doing it wrong. Regrets weigh you down and make you depressed or unhappy in the long run. So decide now: Are you going to let go of all your regrets in the past, or are you going to work now to make sure you don't do things you regret in the future? Or both? *I've realized that both of these are important. If I can let go of the mistakes I've made in the past, I'm not absorbed in reliving them, and I can focus on making sure I don't make the same mistakes in the future. I've become a lot happier and a lot less concerned with things I can't fix.
3. Be brave and stand up for yourself. Don't let others knock you around, or control you, or hurt you. Stand up for yourself and say, I don't like that. It might take a lot of courage to stand up to a friend or even family, but chances are, they'll realize they were wrong and they will have respect for you for standing up for yourself. *There was a friend of mine who would push me around, literally, just to be funny. When he didn't stop, I stood up for myself and told him that I was not okay with him being physical and that it had to stop. He apologized and told me that he hadn't realized he was hurting me. Now, I feel stronger knowing that I can put a stop to the things that make me uncomfortable.
4. Doing everything is better than doing nothing. If you only have one life, then why not live it to the fullest? Do the things that you enjoy doing; and when I say do them, I mean all of them. This way you won't look back with regret and say "I wish I'd done that." *People always tell me I do too many clubs or I'm too busy all the time, but the truth is, I enjoy everything I do. I know I'll die one day, and I don't want to look back and realize I didn't live life to the fullest.
5. Know when to live in the moment, and when to plan for the future. Yes, living in the moment is important. You should always be able to stop and look around you and recognize, I am happy now. But also recognize that you have to work to make your future a happy one, too. Working hard at the right times means you can stop and enjoy life other times. Knowing when is the trick. *I always see people say they're "living in the moment", but when that means they're letting their future fall down the drain, they're going to regret it later. I work hard so that I can do what I want in the future. I also take time to enjoy the little things along the way, so that I don't look back with regrets.
6. Your happiness is the most important. Sounds selfish, I know. But never place someone else's happiness above your own. Remember that you come first. Note that this doesn't mean other people's happiness isn't important; don't purposely try to hurt someone else. But remember that you can't help others be happy if you aren't happy. *I have, in the past, been so intent on making my friends happy (even people I wasn't friends with) that I let myself slip into some serious unhappiness. I assumed that their happiness was more important than mine, and thus my self-esteem took a nose dive. This is bad, guys. Don't let that happen.
7. Nothing comes after this life, so make the most of it. You could try to throw away the rest of my principles by saying that these things won't matter in the afterlife, or whatever. According to my belief system, there is no afterlife. Since everything ends after this life, don't throw this one away. You were given this life for a reason, so go live it. *I'm an atheist, and I have been for as long as I can remember. And because I don't believe in Heaven, or Hell, or reincarnation, or Paradise, Valhalla, or anything, I feel more compelled to live a full and happy life in the time that I have here on Earth. Besides, if there is an afterlife, I'd prefer mine to be spent as a ghost, haunting my favorite places.
8. Never forget to love. This is so important, guys! The most important of all! I hope there never comes a time when people forget to love each other. Don't ever be afraid to put everything on the line for love (that is, if it's actually love– don't confuse it with infatuation). And I don't just mean romantic love, either. I mean your friends, your family, your dog, your chocolate cake! Love is love, and it exists. Don't be afraid of it. Because, even though 95% of the time it sucks, the other 5% is the most wonderful feeling in the world, and I think everyone should experience it. So do it. Love love love like it's the last thing you do, because, heck, it just might be. *Do I even need to explain where this one comes from? It's a philosophy born from a mix of Disney movies and my family, Harry Potter and chocolate cake, good boyfriends, and the wonderful friendships I've made in my lifetime.

Journal 4: End of the Stranger

At the end of the novel, Meursault realizes how futile it is to fight against death. He knows that it doesn't matter when he dies, because he will always feel the same toward death then as he does now. He believes that there is nothing after death, at that this is all there is; therefore he comes to the realization that he is indifferent to the universe because the universe is indifferent to him. The universe does not care about a single man, and there is no higher power (God) trying to intervene and save him. Because the universe is so indifferent, he comes to terms with his execution, and hopes that the crowd at his execution will be full of hateful people. This, I think, reflects how he now hates everyone else for condemning him, simply because he did not cry at his mother's funeral. He feels the universe is indifferent to him, as he is indifferent to the universe; he hates most everyone else, and expects them to hate him back. That's what I read into it, at least.
I feel like Camus supports this idea, because he doesn't seem to present it as a wrong or backwards way of thinking. The whole novel kind of leads up to this conclusion and supports it, so why would Camus write it if not to guide the reader to the same conclusion? I feel like it's a logical conclusion to come to when in Meursault's position, and that Camus correctly described a condemned man's feelings.

Journal 3: Two Parts

   I think Camus split the novel into two parts to illustrate Meursault's change in character, despite similar scenes and situations. The overall syntax of part two is longer, more flowing than part one. More comas are used, the sentences are longer, and everything seems less choppy. The voice that the narrator adopts also becomes much more personable. Meursault in part two often seems to speak to the reader, saying things like "If I can put it this way" and "Now, as I think back on it" which actually makes him more human to the reader. This is different from the first part, when he spoke very flatly about his actions.
   Also, when I look at the tabbing, it becomes very apparent that the first part was much more concerned with imagery and descriptions of Meursault's surroundings and other people. The second part reflects more on himself, and how he feels, and what he thinks others are feeling (This is obvious to me because I have more blue tabs in the first part for imagery and more yellow tabs in the second part for Meursault's characterization).
   Similar situations and scenes make appearances throughout the second part. For instance, Meursault ends up in the magistrate's office in the first chapter, just like he was in the director's office during the first chapter of part one. Later, Meursault is in his cell, looking out the small window at his view of the town and then the sea, similar to when he's in his room during part one, watching the people on the street. These scenes and situation pop up in a parallel way, but Meursault narrates them differently, to illustrate a change in his character, although it is difficult to understand why he has changed to a more open, likeable narrator. Perhaps it is because he is now in isolation, which is easier for him than being surrounded by others. Perhaps it's because his id has finally succeeded in bursting past the superego and has committed an act of violence, sparked by internal conflict in the subconscious. It's difficult to say.

Journal 2: First Person

  Camus chooses to use first person narration to create a much more ambiguous character out of Meursault. Because we see Meursault only from inside his own mind, we don't get an idea of how he appears to other people. In Their Eyes Were Watching God, we understand that Janie is very beautiful because of the omniscient narration. In The Stranger, we never once learn what Meursault looks like. We see him as being peculiar just because of the reserved way he narrates from first-person, but we have no way of knowing what other characters think of him or how he is perceived. Knowing how others perceive the main character is important in a novel, because that establishes the position the reader should take on the character. Does everyone like the protagonist? Or does everyone call him a murderous gambling sleezebag? In this case, we can't know because we don't get any insight on how other characters perceive him.
  Another interesting way that Camus manipulates the narration is through the reserved way Meursault expresses himself. He's not passionate or very driven about anything. He states what happened and how he felt very flatly. I feel like if there was such a thing as limited-first-person POV, this would be it. And this reservation creates such an ambiguous character! Like we discussed in class, there's two sides you could argue: That Meursault is grieving, or that he's a sociopath. Personally, I feel like he's totally nuts or messed up, but then again, there is evidence to support that he's depressed and grieving his mother's death. There's a lot of back and forth.
  Thematically, I think that this use of first-person can be interpreted many different ways. The fact that we can't see the main character through anothers' eyes builds the idea that in life, one is unable to see themselves through another's eyes, and therefore we should not focus so much on what others think of us. Because Meursault doesn't seem to put much thought into how others feel or think in reacting to him, aside from "I thought I shouldn't have said that." The ambiguity around the 'goodness' of the character, or how the character should be interpreted by the reader, lends itself to another theme. Maybe something more along the lines of how one must interpret themselves based their own thoughts and not someone else's, or something around that.

Journal 1: 3 Characters

1. Marie is Meursault's girlfriend, and later becomes his fiancée. She appears the day after Meursault's mother's funeral, and he takes her out on a date. Very quickly, within a couple days, she tells him she loves him and asks him to marry her. Meursault often describes her as being somewhat confusing, and he doesn't know what she wants from him. She asks if he loves her; he says it doesn't matter. She says he's peculiar, but she loves him for it anyway. This shows how Meursault's strange personality can be interpreted positively, despite how withdrawn and negative he seems to the reader. She serves as insight to another view of the main character, whom we only see through his own existentialist eyes.
2. Meursault's boss is a foil of Marie; he seems to be constantly unhappy with Meursault's peculiarities. The boss is often described as being annoyed with Meursault and Meursault doesn't care much for his boss. In chapter 5, his boss offers him an opportunity to move off to Paris, something that most young people would love. When Meursault shows no interest, his boss becomes angry and says that Meursault lacks ambition. This character shows how Meursault's personality can be interpreted negatively by the other characters surrounding him, contrary to Marie's perspective. Both these perspectives help the reader shape Meursault into a person rather than an existentialist being.
3. Old Salamano and his dog are introduced as being old and scabby and similar in looks. At first it seems that Salamano beats his dog and that they have a horrible abusive relationship, but as the story progresses and Salamano loses his dog, the reader finds that Salamano actually took very good care of his dog. This could be parallel development for Meursault and his mother, especially since his mother is mentioned whenever Salamano comes around. The general view of Meursault when he sent his mother to the home was unfavorable, but he really did it to be humanitarian. He did what was best for her, just as Salamano did for his dog, even if the general view of Salamano was unfavorable.